Friday, August 19, 2011

10 Things I Learned From Moving Back to College

1. Big things really CAN fit in small packages.
     This I learned while I was packing for college, and knew I couldn't live without my turquoise square dancing skirt (in this picture). Let's just say I had quite a sore throat after sucking all the air out of so many plastic bags, but that skirt, which left to its own devices would take up an entire suitcase, went down to this:

2. Wall space is useful. or, at least, it can be (but floor space is way better, so I still totally understand why houses are measured in square feet, not cubic feet).
     But really, look at this:
TUTU WALL (yeah, I know they're not all tutus)!
(yeah, that's the same skirt again, on the left)
And you can see my hat wall here.

3. If you don't try to meet people, you won't. if you do try to meet people, you will. It's really as simple as that.
     I always figured that I was interesting enough that people would try to be friends with me, and that that would lead to me making friends who were also interesting, but that's not true. People will seek me out, but they say, "Hey, I saw your pictures, I think you're awesome," and that's the end, unless I put in the effort, too. So last night I did something kinda stupid but really fun--I posted on the facebook group for our dorm community that if you knocked on my door relatively soon you'd be pretty sure to get your nails done by the time you walked out. I did SIX SETS OF FINGERNAILS. SIX. And it was a shit-ton of fun, and around midnight I was fried and they all went home. Pictures later, most of the girls left before I remembered to take them.

4. A small box of laundry detergent costs $16. Pissy, right?
     That's pretty much all I have to say on this one, but... geesh!

5. Flathead screwdrivers and flathead screws are NOT two of a pair.
     Seriously? What are these people playing at? I was trying to put together a bookshelf I bought at Target for 25 bucks, and the instructions said, "do blahblahblah, use four flathead screws." So I'm taking out every screw in the entire bag, checking the head, and they're all phillips screws, and I'm thinking that these people either gypped me out of my screws, or they don't know what they're talking about. Little did I know that a flathead screw is any screw with, you guessed it, a flat head, and a flathead screwdriver is made for a slotted screw, which is what I had been looking for. I did eventually get my bookshelf together, and it is now dutifully playing host to all sorts of things from tea kettles to textbooks.

6. Sewing machines are commonly used to smuggle drugs, obviously.
     I know this because airport security ran a drug test on mine. It occurred to me as they were wiping it down that as it came from a swap meet and hadn't really enjoyed a deep cleansing since then, that I actually had no idea what was on it, and that it was entirely possibly that it had been used to smuggle cocaine in the past. Thankfully, the nice lady with the cocaine detector gave me the go-ahead to take it on the plane with me, so it's now sitting, drug-free, on my desk next to me. Yay!

7. The early bird gets the refrigerator.
     Dude, seriously. People line up at, like, seven in the morning to rent a microfridge (microwave+freezer+fridge=microfridge), so they were all totally sold out when I got there at the pleasantly sweltering hour of 10:35am. Now I have to call the home office in Iowa to rent one, but they'll deliver it.
     But back to the whole floor space thing, where am I even going to put it?

8. Hogwarts is not the only school with disappearing staircases. Or walls. Or whatever.
     I'm a sophomore, right? So I'm supposed to come back to college and actually already know my way around, right? Especially around the inside of the SUB, where I've spent so much of my time (Yeah, SIFemBears!). But no. Not this time. This time I looked legitimately so much like a freshman that people offered me directions, and I was so confused that they didn't even help. All the furniture is different, walls, floors, all different (stupid waste of money, it was fine before), all the food places, different. Once I found the mailroom they told me I could pick up my mail key just outside Quiznos--which totally didn't help, because we had no Quiznos last year, so here I am, without my glasses because I'm wearing eyeshadow, searching all over the Student Union Building for something I'm pretty sure is right under my nose, and of course--it is. I bet all the freshman had an easier time of it than I did.
     But yeah. Baylor? Spend your money in better ways. Like, offer more scholarships to the people who need them. Please. Hire a new campus organization approval committee. Put in more drink machines. Pay the coffee stands for longer hours. But don't redo the buildings that are already in perfectly good condition. If you're just itching to pay a contractor, redo the bathrooms in South Russell, or put more kitchens in Texana. Yeah, that's a great idea! PLEASE come build me a kitchen, PLEASE?!?!!! Thanks, you're awesome.

9. Aunts are awesome.
     Dude. My Aunt Kathryn offered to help me move out and in. Offered. Not conceded, offered. Not succumbed to torture and offered, but voluntarily offered to help me move out last semester, to store my stuff in her spare bedroom, and to help me move in this semester. Be nice to your aunts, girls. Be nice to your aunts.

10. Black sheets make me feel classy and sexy, even in a crammed-full dorm room the size of my mother's closet.
     Luckily, my mother's closet is bigger than my closet, so I have more than two square feet of space. :But dude, the black sheets? And they were on sale from 18 bucks down to 14, and all the other sheet styles were somewhere from 25 to 60 bucks, and I don't need sheets that badly, and they're really soft, but mostly they're just black and fabulous and classy and sexy. You have no idea. They're sweet, and I haven't said that since the 'nineties.

Alright, night y'all (Can you tell I'm in Texas? I really can't help it, the "y'all" just comes out so slippery-like!).

1 comment:

  1. I love this post. I especially want to take #3 and plaster it on the face of every freshman, haha. It's SO true, even for people who can't do kickass manicures :)